I know this is a little long...but well worth the read in helping us non Palin lovers, that are baffled by our smart women friends who are supporters, understand them a little bit better. Everyone deserves that head tilted nod of tolerance even if we can't agree right??? HA Ha Ha.
"I was at the dentist yesterday and the hygienist asked me what I thought of the upcoming election. I looked at this woman who had sharp objects in her hand and I thought it might be prudent to take the non-committal route.
"Wow! Sure is something, huh? Most exciting election in my lifetime," I said, eyeing those tools of doom carefully. "What do you think?" (Years of working in radio has taught me to turn the question back on the questioner.)
She told me that she didn't like Obama because he was "too slick, like a car salesman," but she showed disdain for John McCain's claim of 'I know how to do that.' She smirked at me "Well," she said "if you knew how to do it, why weren't you doing it? Why didn't you find bin Laden, and solve the financial mess?"
I nodded. (I couldn't really do much else). When she removed the buzz saw and pick axe from my mouth I said "What about Sarah Palin?"
"Oh, I like her."
Nowadays when people say that, I ask them why, largely because it is a concept that befuddles me.
"Well, she's gutsy. And I think she's probably dealt with the Russians, being as how they are right there."
We moved on to the economy with which EVERYone has a problem, so we were in safe territory, as least as far as my mouth and pain were concerned.
But the interchange brought forward something that had been niggling at the back of my brain. Why do some smart women think Sarah Palin is a good choice for Vice President? Why do some smart women like her?
This has been bothering me for some time. I have some very smart women friends and a few of them think Palin has what it takes. I don't get it. Why can't they see what I see and what many conservative pundits are falling all over themselves to say? Palin is not qualified.
I called my friend Betti Hoeppner, the therapist. She reminded me of a situation from over 10 years ago when I had worked for a man who was very smart about some things, but would not accept that he was a bad manager. Everyone told him he was a dreadful manager, and still he would not believe it. I was befuddled then, too.
In the course of our conversation she explained why. She told me that sometimes people hold a core belief that is very strong. When they are presented with evidence that works against that belief, the new evidence cannot be accepted. It would create a feeling that is extremely uncomfortable, called cognitive dissonance. And because it is so important to protect the core belief, they will rationalize, ignore and even deny anything that doesn't fit in with the core belief.
For example: You think you are an honest person. That is your core belief. But you cheat on your taxes. Cheating on your taxes goes against the idea of you being an honest person. This is a very uncomfortable feeling, the cognitive dissonance. You really want to continue believing that you are an honest person, so you may rationalize that the government "owes" you anyway.
But why do people hold the core belief that Palin is qualified in the first place? My friend Dr. Susan Bartell, the psychologist, was my next phone call.
"Think of it as a relationship," she told me. "Women are relationship-oriented, and many women feel that they are having one with the people they choose in the election. Some women say they could imagine themselves having coffee and pie with Palin around the dinner table."
All right. I get that. Not my thing, but I get that.
She told me that many women idealize their relationship partners. They see all the positive characteristics about that person and ignore the bad. This is especially true, Dr. Susan added, in the beginning of a relationship.
Okay. This I get. Who hasn't fallen in love with the "idea" that we have created of a person, instead of the actual person? And lots of really smart women have done that!
So for whatever reason they have chosen, some smart women have fallen in love with the "idea" of Sarah Palin. She's smart. She's gutsy. She's a woman. And she would be the first woman 'this close' to the Presidency.
And what happens when these smart women are presented with contradictory evidence? "Let's go back to the relationship analogy," Dr. Susan says. "When our eyes finally open to someone, we have choices. We can either get out of the relationship (divorce), or we stay and deal with the cognitive dissonance."
But Dr. Susan says that some women feel they don't have a choice. Their core belief is so strong that they don't believe they have an alternative. For example, perhaps they are strongly against pro-choice. Or they want a woman in the Executive Branch no matter what. Or they cannot subscribe to any of the democratic platform of ideas. At that point, they have no choice but to continue their idealization of Palin, thereby finding a way around their cognitive dissonance, albeit in an unhealthy way.
So in order to keep idealizing her, our smart friends either deny (that Alaskan report didn't find her guilty of doing anything unlawful), rationalize (and besides, they were partisan), or ignore (I never heard about any report. Besides, I just like her!).
The bottom line? When it comes to our smart women friends, we probably aren't going to be able to change their minds about Sarah Palin. They are either still idealizing her, or they have a core belief too strong to accept any alternatives. But at least now we know why these smart women are choosing to consider Palin qualified and will check the Republican box on the ballot. We just don't have to like it."
I am proud to say that I did my civic duty and went to the early vote booth last night! Took me 10 minutes...WHAT A GREAT IDEA EARLY VOTE IS!!! :)
TTFN
Friday, October 24, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Just a quote I found joy in reading today...
"Any situation today could be a tragedy or a comedy, it just depends on the mood that you're in when you're experiencing it, and the mood of the storyteller who is telling it" - Radha Mitchell
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
I am sure I'm not the only one!
I guess I am suprised to find out more often lately that people that I love and that claim to love me have very large conditions on that love.
This weekend was another example of this type of recognition...
In my almost 39 years, I have never had persecution for the earlier times in my life with my religion of choice(LDS)nor for the more "real me" choice in my lifestyle of choice(being a Lesbian). Although I will always say I didn't choose to be attracted to girls, I did choose to allow myself to participate in a lifestyle that is "wrong" in the eyes of the LDS church...but I felt that my happiness is one thing I can reconsile with my God. He wants me to be happy and denying myself of loving and being loved to me is not his "plan".
Although I know I am not in the norm with never having been treated badly, I just didn't understand peoples fears in what "other's think" about the choices we all make in our lives.
UNTIL THIS WEEKEND!
I went to visit my parents in Sacramento this weekend. It was an eye opener, that is for sure. I know some of you have seen, talked about, or at least heard about the front page newspaper article in the Sacramento Bee. It landed on the kitchen table on the heels of a pretty passionate argument/debate my step dad and I had this past weekend.
I was raised a "good LDS girl", and with that came temple attendance, recieving my garments, going on a mission, and planning for that eternal family that is inevitable if I just lived "righteously". These things are things that I always say are part of the foundation of Heidi. I am who I am because of my past, present, and will continue to evolve because of my unwritten future.
My openmindedness and willingness to love without condition and judgment was something that I guess I believe everyone is capable of. But, after hearing some of the things my Dad said in regards to Prop 8 and why he is supporting it. I was overwhelmed to tears. I wasn't mad or sad about his position, I get it, I understand that the LDS Church has a very solid position in what Marriage is "supposed" to be, albeit that it just came to pass in the past 12 years or so. But my tears came from my dad's initial comment that he "wouldn't have this conversation with me" because "if we can't agree there is no reason to discuss it". After a little while of lovingly nudging we did finally have a conversation. I couldn't allow this to put a wedge between us.
My dad is very passionate about America, about freedoms, about his freedom to participate in whatever religion he chooses. He is passionate in his love for my mom, his second wife. He is passionate about his church and how his morals (although not) should be the morals of the world. His biggest passion about Prop 8 is that he doesn't want someone else to reinvent the definition of what marriage is. And it's his "moral obligation to stand up for those morals".
After talking about how his morals and the morals of his fellow congregation members and how they were persecuted in the beginnings of the churchs history, that his church is not the "norm", that his family and marriage is also a redefinition of marriage the way he is fighting so hard to keep "our kind" from being able to redefine. He started saying things like, why can't Americans see that one nation, under God is the way we need to be. I laughed, and he looked at me funny, and then said, "I guess that is what the people that want to vote No on Prop 8 are trying to get across". He sees that it's a civil rights issue, yet he just can't reconcile that with his passion for the Marriage Proclimation of the LDS Church.
I can't imagine his turmoil, with having a daughter that is gay, another daughter living with her "black baby daddy", another daughter who had asked to be excommunicated from his church because she believes in Darwinism and thinks God is a bunch of hoowie oh and also lives with her "boyfriend" of like 15 years. And still doesn't have a clear understanding of who his youngest son is either. It would be hard to have a clear line of sinners on one side of the fence and members of his "forever family" on the other side of the fence within his own "home".
I explained to him, I still have internal conflict at times with the "who I am and what is my purpose" that the LDS church ingrains in your being as you grow up through the ranks. But I am grateful that I have MOSTLY reconciled the fact that I am a good person, that I deserve love, and that happiness is what I am here to find. When I meet my "maker" we can then work out the small stuff. :)
BUT...thank the heavens above for my mom. She's going through her own journey in life with her own trials. And I am happy to say, although doesn't understand all the political and religious jargan, she is very much about "we are all adults and can make our own choices...let people live the way they want to live".
I love them both and respect them both. And am grateful that I have the opportunity to debate with them, to listen and spend time with them. My drive home with my Mom was a blast...we had great weather, listened to a book on cd, had many conversations, and just enjoyed the 12 hour drive. How grateful I am for that time we had. :)
Last night we went to see Dar Williams with our friends Lisa and Jocelyn. Dar is a folksy singer with her own "green" agenda. She was entertaining, and I think my mom even enjoyed it. I got her new album and look forward to our next concert/outing with Lis and Joc. We always have such a great time with them! :)
My mom went home today, she had her last doctor apt until the next bone scan. They ordered special medicine for her to help build up her "levels". She's in good spirits and although had a little trouble with getting tired seems to be doing really good.
She's off to a quilting retreat this weekend and then here and there for the next month or so. As she told me her schedule she laughed and said "Cancer wont make me sick, I am too busy to be sick!". :)
I am looking forward to this weekend, I just might get to go to a GLPU (Parents Group) event FINALLY this weekend, and then sunday I get to go to breakfast and catch up with Ky! I am really looking forward to that!
Well, I guess I better get going for now...just wanted to fill you in on what's happening in my little life this past few days...
TTFN
This weekend was another example of this type of recognition...
In my almost 39 years, I have never had persecution for the earlier times in my life with my religion of choice(LDS)nor for the more "real me" choice in my lifestyle of choice(being a Lesbian). Although I will always say I didn't choose to be attracted to girls, I did choose to allow myself to participate in a lifestyle that is "wrong" in the eyes of the LDS church...but I felt that my happiness is one thing I can reconsile with my God. He wants me to be happy and denying myself of loving and being loved to me is not his "plan".
Although I know I am not in the norm with never having been treated badly, I just didn't understand peoples fears in what "other's think" about the choices we all make in our lives.
UNTIL THIS WEEKEND!
I went to visit my parents in Sacramento this weekend. It was an eye opener, that is for sure. I know some of you have seen, talked about, or at least heard about the front page newspaper article in the Sacramento Bee. It landed on the kitchen table on the heels of a pretty passionate argument/debate my step dad and I had this past weekend.
I was raised a "good LDS girl", and with that came temple attendance, recieving my garments, going on a mission, and planning for that eternal family that is inevitable if I just lived "righteously". These things are things that I always say are part of the foundation of Heidi. I am who I am because of my past, present, and will continue to evolve because of my unwritten future.
My openmindedness and willingness to love without condition and judgment was something that I guess I believe everyone is capable of. But, after hearing some of the things my Dad said in regards to Prop 8 and why he is supporting it. I was overwhelmed to tears. I wasn't mad or sad about his position, I get it, I understand that the LDS Church has a very solid position in what Marriage is "supposed" to be, albeit that it just came to pass in the past 12 years or so. But my tears came from my dad's initial comment that he "wouldn't have this conversation with me" because "if we can't agree there is no reason to discuss it". After a little while of lovingly nudging we did finally have a conversation. I couldn't allow this to put a wedge between us.
My dad is very passionate about America, about freedoms, about his freedom to participate in whatever religion he chooses. He is passionate in his love for my mom, his second wife. He is passionate about his church and how his morals (although not) should be the morals of the world. His biggest passion about Prop 8 is that he doesn't want someone else to reinvent the definition of what marriage is. And it's his "moral obligation to stand up for those morals".
After talking about how his morals and the morals of his fellow congregation members and how they were persecuted in the beginnings of the churchs history, that his church is not the "norm", that his family and marriage is also a redefinition of marriage the way he is fighting so hard to keep "our kind" from being able to redefine. He started saying things like, why can't Americans see that one nation, under God is the way we need to be. I laughed, and he looked at me funny, and then said, "I guess that is what the people that want to vote No on Prop 8 are trying to get across". He sees that it's a civil rights issue, yet he just can't reconcile that with his passion for the Marriage Proclimation of the LDS Church.
I can't imagine his turmoil, with having a daughter that is gay, another daughter living with her "black baby daddy", another daughter who had asked to be excommunicated from his church because she believes in Darwinism and thinks God is a bunch of hoowie oh and also lives with her "boyfriend" of like 15 years. And still doesn't have a clear understanding of who his youngest son is either. It would be hard to have a clear line of sinners on one side of the fence and members of his "forever family" on the other side of the fence within his own "home".
I explained to him, I still have internal conflict at times with the "who I am and what is my purpose" that the LDS church ingrains in your being as you grow up through the ranks. But I am grateful that I have MOSTLY reconciled the fact that I am a good person, that I deserve love, and that happiness is what I am here to find. When I meet my "maker" we can then work out the small stuff. :)
BUT...thank the heavens above for my mom. She's going through her own journey in life with her own trials. And I am happy to say, although doesn't understand all the political and religious jargan, she is very much about "we are all adults and can make our own choices...let people live the way they want to live".
I love them both and respect them both. And am grateful that I have the opportunity to debate with them, to listen and spend time with them. My drive home with my Mom was a blast...we had great weather, listened to a book on cd, had many conversations, and just enjoyed the 12 hour drive. How grateful I am for that time we had. :)
Last night we went to see Dar Williams with our friends Lisa and Jocelyn. Dar is a folksy singer with her own "green" agenda. She was entertaining, and I think my mom even enjoyed it. I got her new album and look forward to our next concert/outing with Lis and Joc. We always have such a great time with them! :)
My mom went home today, she had her last doctor apt until the next bone scan. They ordered special medicine for her to help build up her "levels". She's in good spirits and although had a little trouble with getting tired seems to be doing really good.
She's off to a quilting retreat this weekend and then here and there for the next month or so. As she told me her schedule she laughed and said "Cancer wont make me sick, I am too busy to be sick!". :)
I am looking forward to this weekend, I just might get to go to a GLPU (Parents Group) event FINALLY this weekend, and then sunday I get to go to breakfast and catch up with Ky! I am really looking forward to that!
Well, I guess I better get going for now...just wanted to fill you in on what's happening in my little life this past few days...
TTFN
Monday, October 6, 2008
Marinating with these quotes
"The great majority of us are required to live a life of constant duplicity. Your health is bound to be affected if, day after day, you say the opposite of what you feel, if you grovel before what you dislike, and rejoice at what brings you nothing but misfortune." ~Boris Pasternak
Don’t aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally. ~David Frost
I pride myself in the fact that I am passionate, honest, and full of integrity and I also have a deep belief that people are inately good. Being this kind of person I have found sorrow in that others just don't hold onto those same values. So reading these quotes made me really stop and think. Thinking about the people out there that do in fact work so hard at success but yet still fail. I wish them the strength to find that belief system that is a part of their foundation and build from there. Start anew, knowing things are always as they should be, a lesson to grow from, and a beginning to something greater.
I have been very busy and very full of emotion the past 3 weeks. I have thought to write it all down but just haven't taken the time or the energy it takes to do so.
My mom's cancer battle is just about over. I am really looking forward to some time with her this weekend, to take some time to worry about her and only her, to take care of her, if only for a moment. To be a little bit more like her and worry about someone else and their needs. Something she does consistantly on a daily basis...it's never poor me! What a role model! I am a little on the nervous side because I have a cold that just wont start so that it can actually end. With her immune system being so wrecked because of her treatments, me being around her could really cause some problems. Please (if your a prayer) pray for her and me that I can get better and she will not be afflicted by my cold.
Our home life seems to be on perpetual hold. The house plans are mostly finished, the contractor has given us a $$ amount, and now we are playing the loan waiting game. There are days that I am so frustrated that we don't live together as a family, but yet, I KNOW in my heart and head that things happen for reasons and we are here today for one of those reasons. It's just getting through today to find out what tomorrow will bring.
With the economy the way it is, and with people in the world raising mass amounts of money to promote hate...it makes me wish I had all the money in the world and then some, so I could fix all that is broken. That, in and of itself, makes me chuckle to myself...because even though I don't have all the money in the world, I still try my damndest in that fixit role!
I have been getting a little more political thanks to Keri these days. I have a lot of respect for her, she daily is out there fighting for my rights and the rights of many others while I sit back and enjoy the benefits that may unfold. It's a bit like enjoying the freedoms that the US Military fights for on a daily basis, so that I can live the life I choose to live. I have taken the time to actually listen to the media (taking it with a grain of salt of course), watching the candidates, listening to their points of view watching their reactions and actions through the good times and bad. It's been educational to say the least, and a bit entertaining as well. I thank those of you out there that blog about politics, your opinions, your beliefs. It's nice to be able to take them in and find if they fit in my own way of thinking. It's like a little puzzle, someone might say something that fits right into my way of thinking and helps complete the puzzle, but then someone else will say something that doesn't fit and so I just toss it out and don't bother getting it all mixed up in the stuff that I haven't puzzled together yet. I do know however this is a time in my life that even if I feel my voice doesn't matter here in this big RED state of Utah, I will VOTE and let my voice be heard. Someone said something on NPR yesterday that made me really think...(i'm paraphrasing) if you always vote straight party all the way, even if you don't agree with something one of your candidates stands for, why would they ever try to make changes for you...they know they have your vote no matter what. Just something to think about as you are studying up on the candidates and their stances on things.
Well, I leave you tonight with a hope, a hope that your next breath will give you the strength to overcome even the slightest irritation in your lives, the hope that all your wants, needs, passions, and beliefs will give you strength to smile knowing today is the only day that you can call today, if it was bad, it's over soon, if it was great, it'll be a memory that will last a lifetime, and if it was just okay, make tomorrow that much better! :)
TTFN
Don’t aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally. ~David Frost
I pride myself in the fact that I am passionate, honest, and full of integrity and I also have a deep belief that people are inately good. Being this kind of person I have found sorrow in that others just don't hold onto those same values. So reading these quotes made me really stop and think. Thinking about the people out there that do in fact work so hard at success but yet still fail. I wish them the strength to find that belief system that is a part of their foundation and build from there. Start anew, knowing things are always as they should be, a lesson to grow from, and a beginning to something greater.
I have been very busy and very full of emotion the past 3 weeks. I have thought to write it all down but just haven't taken the time or the energy it takes to do so.
My mom's cancer battle is just about over. I am really looking forward to some time with her this weekend, to take some time to worry about her and only her, to take care of her, if only for a moment. To be a little bit more like her and worry about someone else and their needs. Something she does consistantly on a daily basis...it's never poor me! What a role model! I am a little on the nervous side because I have a cold that just wont start so that it can actually end. With her immune system being so wrecked because of her treatments, me being around her could really cause some problems. Please (if your a prayer) pray for her and me that I can get better and she will not be afflicted by my cold.
Our home life seems to be on perpetual hold. The house plans are mostly finished, the contractor has given us a $$ amount, and now we are playing the loan waiting game. There are days that I am so frustrated that we don't live together as a family, but yet, I KNOW in my heart and head that things happen for reasons and we are here today for one of those reasons. It's just getting through today to find out what tomorrow will bring.
With the economy the way it is, and with people in the world raising mass amounts of money to promote hate...it makes me wish I had all the money in the world and then some, so I could fix all that is broken. That, in and of itself, makes me chuckle to myself...because even though I don't have all the money in the world, I still try my damndest in that fixit role!
I have been getting a little more political thanks to Keri these days. I have a lot of respect for her, she daily is out there fighting for my rights and the rights of many others while I sit back and enjoy the benefits that may unfold. It's a bit like enjoying the freedoms that the US Military fights for on a daily basis, so that I can live the life I choose to live. I have taken the time to actually listen to the media (taking it with a grain of salt of course), watching the candidates, listening to their points of view watching their reactions and actions through the good times and bad. It's been educational to say the least, and a bit entertaining as well. I thank those of you out there that blog about politics, your opinions, your beliefs. It's nice to be able to take them in and find if they fit in my own way of thinking. It's like a little puzzle, someone might say something that fits right into my way of thinking and helps complete the puzzle, but then someone else will say something that doesn't fit and so I just toss it out and don't bother getting it all mixed up in the stuff that I haven't puzzled together yet. I do know however this is a time in my life that even if I feel my voice doesn't matter here in this big RED state of Utah, I will VOTE and let my voice be heard. Someone said something on NPR yesterday that made me really think...(i'm paraphrasing) if you always vote straight party all the way, even if you don't agree with something one of your candidates stands for, why would they ever try to make changes for you...they know they have your vote no matter what. Just something to think about as you are studying up on the candidates and their stances on things.
Well, I leave you tonight with a hope, a hope that your next breath will give you the strength to overcome even the slightest irritation in your lives, the hope that all your wants, needs, passions, and beliefs will give you strength to smile knowing today is the only day that you can call today, if it was bad, it's over soon, if it was great, it'll be a memory that will last a lifetime, and if it was just okay, make tomorrow that much better! :)
TTFN
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
