I have been up and down with my emotions the last few days, and don't really want to air the dirty laundry, but I am needing an escape of sorts for my thoughts, so I decided to spend a few moments here, instead of in my head.
Saturday was my and Tree-c's 1 year anniversary. 1 year from the day we decided to "be exclusive". Some of the comments I have heard over the course of the last few weeks..."what, you don't live together?" "or, 1 year? wow...it seems like just the other day". Excluding the close to me who said "only a year, it seems like she's been in our lives for the whole time". I love you two! :)
But so my head is all, "yeah, it does just seem like the other day", but my heart says "it's been forever". My head is all, "should we live together? do I need my space and my alone time?" my heart says, "I want her to be the last person I see when I go to bed and the first person I see when I wake up...what are we waiting for, I want to live with her".
I also have her heart and head to contend with. All the what if's that a mother and a scorn woman from a past long term relationship might worry about. All the longing to not be alone in living and raising her son, but the concern of loving and losing again.
Is love risk enough? Is risk love enough?
Tristan keeps posing the big question "when are you and mommy getting married?", the answer "when we all live together". And I mean it when I say it. I am anxious for the day I get to turn to her and ask her to share the rest of her life with me. To stand before each other and in front of all our families and friends and express our love and commitment to each other for the rest of our lives...silly me, I am a hopeless romantic and I can't wait to stand in that spot with her in front of me, sharing in that experience...so what stops us?
The living arrangements.
I will ask again, is love risk enough? Is risk love enough? Today, I am not sure!
About Me
- Heidi
- I am a good friend, a great listener, and love to make people smile. I love my family, especially when we all go to Disneyland. I am a total kid at heart. I am the mom of a Cocker Spanielish dog name Topper who is my favorite little cuddle bug. I am the girlfriend of the most beautiful girl in the world whom I call Treec and the "step-mom" of a 6 year old boy name Tristan who thinks I know everything! Boy do I have him fooled! :) I hope that my blog brings even one person some entertainment and joy.
Heids & Tree-c
My fishin buddy!
Tristan's First Grade Photo
7 comments:
Wow, a whole year and you don't live together yet? You just might lose your lesbian card for that! You're certainly not fitting into the whole U-haul on the second date stereotype! Seriously though, living together is not an easy thing and I think way too many people jump into it too soon so I admire that you two have taken your time with this. Sounds like you've got a great relationship though so I say "make the jump!" It really is wonderful going to sleep with and waking up next to the woman you love! Wishing you the best!
Ha Ha Ha...I know! Thanks for your words of encouragement...
And I quote The Jerk. the first day felt like a day, but then the 2nd day felt like 2 days. the 3rd day felt like a week and the 4th day just felt like a day........:)
And then sometimes you just have to throw caution to the wind and take that chance.
So many times our hearts and heads contradict each other. and like these comments that you will get....read them and then do what you feel is right.
(move in together already...shit it's been a year for hell sakes)
As always, K you make me smile! :)
Remember I met B - four days later I had bought a plane ticket to Maine - I took a lot of shit from people. Well Fuck them - cause over six years later, a marriage and two kids - we are more in love today than ever. Who won? Me! Why? Cause I followed my heart. You know how I feel about you - and about your relationship with Tree-C. I feel emotional just writing about it. Close your eyes my friend and jump - your heart will not lead you astray!
Heids, Ky is so right, those were the scariest and most spontaneous days of our lives me and K but the very best. I love how pragmatic you are being with this ( I think more then anything because there is more than just you and treece involved you have a boy you love so much too. I love Patrice sooo much she is such an amazing person and the best part is the two of you compliment each other so well, infact I have never seen two people perfectly compliment each others strengths and "weaknesses (not that there are many). I hope for the two of you that you have that forever. I have said it before Treece just fits and was meant to be.... that does not mean you HAVE to move in together and it doesn't mean that you won't. Besides Heids what would life be without risk, the journey is the destination or the destination is the journey. Without your previous "risks" (like should I say changes that happened over a year ago, you would not be the women you are today). I love you with all my heart!! You deserve complete happiness, so whatever your TRUTH is follow it and we will be there for the outcome forever too!!
CRYING! THANKS YOU TWO...I love you guys so much!
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